Tag: hockey

Andy is all hype.

People always be asking me if I’m gonna load up on Parisian museums.  As the Puerto Rican kids used to say, hells no.  Museums bore me and make my legs achy.  Sort of like when your girlfriend/wife shops for clothes while you mindlessly trudge forward, guiding the cart like a broken ox.  Not that I would know.

Worthy of achy legs:

  1. The blurry impressionist stuff at Chicago’s Art Institute.
  2. The shrunken heads at Chicago’s Field Museum.  I hadn’t seen them since I was a boy, so a few years back I dropped in on them.  No luck.  I was informed that the heads have been in storage for 20+ years because “they’re not very PC”.  Nice job with that.

Today, for no good reason I dragged Shut-in to the Andy Warhol Museum.  *Yawn*.  Stripped of his aura and hype, little of Andy’s work warranted attention.  The highlight of the trip was a Cuban sandwich from the basement cafe.  Yumzies!

Fun fact #1:  In college I tried to switch my major to Art.  I was told that my grades were too low, and that I’d have to stick with Math.  Fun fact #2:  Shut-in has an Art degree, and he agreed that Mr. Warhol was a lame.

In other “news”, yesterday Zach and I played living room hockey.  Aside from the potential “losing teeth” aspect of the game, living room hockey is maximum father/son fun.

Dad of the year award in jeopardy…

This was the last photo taken before it all went wrong.  While we may have colored outside the lines from time to time, we were essentially a happy family.

At 2:35 pm yesterday, disaster hit.  I turned into one of “those” parents.  You’ve seen them, monsters who coach scream at their kids while their children try to have fun playing sports.  Sure, Zach may have been grossly out of position (right wing) on every play, but seriously, who cares?  Tonight I am filled with shame, and my vocal chords are ripped to shreds.

Partying old school

*Old-people-parenting jibber-jabber alert*

Last Saturday was Zach’s party.  The going rate for an 8-year-old’s party at Chuck-E-Cheese, Build-A-Bear, Cosmic Bowling, or any of those other lame-o places is $150-$200.  No “plastic memories” party this year!  I kept the same bloated budget, but went old school – a house party featuring a decathlon of crack-headed games.  Lordy!  Some examples:  2 teams, 3 boys on each team…each team has a roll of string attached to a spoon.  Ready, set, go!  1st kid drops the spoon down his shirt, then passes the spoon to the next kid.  2nd, and 3rd kid do likewise, then back around to the 1st kid.  Twice around, and they’re hopelessly knotted together.  1st team to untangle wins.  Here’s another:  I took $15 worth of change and spread it over the patio.  Ready, set, git them pennies! 

At the end of the party, the point leader got 1st pick of the prizes.  2nd place got 2nd pick, etc.  The prizes?  Expensive junk!  $8-$35 toys!  Most kids brought home better more expensive prizes than they had brought!  Beat that!

In other “news”, the weather outside is frightful.  Zach and I have moved our hockey indoors:  (Photo by Asia)