I’m glad my wife and I only fight once or twice/year.  While basking in the Caribbean sun, Verizon killed our internet, and two phone lines.  My wife has been viciously arguing with those clowns for two days now, and it ain’t pretty.  This is kind of moldy, since it’s already two days old, but here:

I once spent a month goofin’ around Taiwan and Malaysia.  Welcoming me back to America was a dopey-grinned XXL rendering of a freshly Lewinskyed man.  That moment marked the first time I felt embarrassed to be an American.  Later, a different kind of fool bumbled through eight years of presidency, burying my once-proud nation under a mountain of shame and debt.  Tonight I return to America, beaming with hope and long lost American pride.  I am once again proud to be an American.