Tag: beer

Sure, why not.

I’m not too cool for this sort of thing.  Mr. Neill’s Facebook list of 25 random facts:

  1. In 9th grade I had a paper route.  Each morning I’d wake up several minutes later.  This drove my mom nuts, causing her to wake up several minutes earlier to “help out”.  Eventually she was doing the entire route.  This ended early one winter morning when she slipped on a patch of ice and broke her wrist.
  2. It took me 7 1/2 years to finish my undergraduate degree.  Never at any point did I doubt I would finish.
  3. If I knew how to put my feelings into words, I would blog every day.
  4. I always wanted to be a teacher.
  5. I averaged 2-3 drinks a year up until I was 30.
  6. For all my beer snobbery, I still only drink 2-3 beers a week.
  7. I have a nephew 6 months older than me.  We’ve met just twice.  He’s a better looking, more confidant version of me.  We’re both 6’6″.
  8. I used to collect stamps, autographs, and baseball cards.  I regret having disposed of them.  All three were amazing collections.
  9. I was the youngest of 7 kids.  There is a 10 year gap between #6 and myself.  I was raised kind of like a grandchild.
  10. I’ve played in two bands.  In each band I was the weakest link.  But I can (still) write catchy pop hooks.
  11. I’ve grown to love Pittsburgh.  I wish my mom knew I lived here.  She spent the first 18 years of her life in Pittsburgh, and loved this city.  She died a year before I moved here.
  12. During college, my best friend and I would race our Datsun 240Z’s 100-140 mph on Chicago’s highways, on a daily basis.
  13. Because of the wear and tear, I would replace the alternator and/or water pump every month.
  14. I once spent a month riding a train around the U.S.  The following year I spent a month in Europe.  A year later I spent a month in the Far East.  This summer…well you know what I’m doing this summer!
  15. I once had my heart broken.  I couldn’t eat for weeks.
  16. A few weeks ago I figured out how to play drums.  Nothing beyond the basics, but still…I could probably play that Twisted Sister song!
  17. By the time I finish cooking and cleaning, I’m too tired to entertain my guests.
  18. I can juggle four balls while standing on a basketball, I can balance all sorts of things on my chin, and I can ride a unicycle.  No, I never wanted to join the circus.
  19. I can keep a hackeysack from touching the ground for so long, that you would get bored watching me.
  20. I’ve been knocked out in a boxing match.
  21. I once quit my job and spent a year studying the bible.
  22. I once scored a 3% on a Physics test.  One day I’m going to retake that class…that stuff seems simple now.  Not everything makes sense when you’re 19.
  23. Twenty years ago, my girlfriend and I were thinking about getting married and moving to Nashville.  We drove down and began to wilt.  I asked a stranger if it was usually that hot.  “No”, he said, “It’s usually hotter”.  On the drive home, we called it quits.  Unfortunately so did my Datsun 240Z.  That was the last time I saw either the girl or the car.
  24. I once accidentally started a riot.  A real one, with dozens of arrests.
  25. My ex-band once played at a basement party on Chicago’s deep south side.  We were told, “If people start fighting, keep playing.  If they start shooting, stop.”  Seconds after we finished our set, 30 cops with guns drawn kicked down the door.

New neighbors.

I have great hope for the future of this house:

It sold recently, which means I’ll be getting a new neighbor.  I’m so excited I could pee.  It’s like opening a present on your 10th birthday.  What’s inside?  Could be that awesome Atari 2600 you’ve dreamed of owning.  More likely it’s another hideous sweater from Grandma.

Once our neighbors take occupancy, I shall shower them with snooty beer and stinky cheese.  Later we’ll set up playdates for the kids, complain about traffic noise, and feign outrage at $500/month heating bills.  Oh the times we’ll have!

Or maybe I’ll play it cool.  Shorty after we moved to Pittsburgh, our backyard neighbor invited us over for an impromptu (sausages on the grill) dinner.  Caught in the enthusiasm of the moment, I upped the ante.  “Great!”, I said, “I just bought some strip steaks…you can grill them too.”  During dinner our host asked, “What do you think of this beer?”  Excited to display my grand beer palate with a fellow beer enthusiast (alas he was not), I went into detail as to the multidimensional failings of his chosen brew.  I believe that was our last conversation.  A lesson for the socially retarded:  Neither upstage a man’s meat, nor insult his beer.