Tag: Asia

A search for talent

One day Asia and I were riding bikes and talking about our big plans.  She mentioned that she would like to shoot a movie.  A few months later Mrs and I bought Asia a video camera for her birthday.  The best presents are ones that you get to use too, right?  For six months Asia worked on her script, “Spy Girl”.  One day she announced that she had finished the script and would be sending out casting invites.  And then it hit her; she had no idea how to shoot and edit a movie.  For the remainder of the week she was a ball of stress.

That weekend I sat her down at the dining room table.  I set a timer for 20 minutes and ordered her to write a two person sketch.  Later that day we shot the sketch – my way of showing her how to make movie.  Not that I know anything about how to shoot and edit a movie.  I probably should fix the audio levels and a bunch of other things, but whatevers, I’ve had enough of the movie biz for now.  Here it is, an Asia Neill original:

Diet orange Faygo gives me the bad man blues

Every day, amid the splendor of fall’s magnificent colors, my fancy dog and I stroll the rolling hills of West View, Pennsylvania.  My favorite day of the walk-week is Monday, because Monday is recycling day.  That is, I get to see what my fellow citizens have been drinking.  While I strive to live a life free of judgment toward my brethren, recycle bins overflowing with empty cans of Diet Orange Faygo and Natty Ice expose the supercilious wickedness hidden deep within my soul.

In other “news”, Asia has a new doo, and has taken up the trumpet.  Her venerable songwriting skills have been on display of late, as she recently penned several future hits: “We’re the gangstas, the preppy gangstas” and “I got the bad man blues”.

Hold on to 7 as long as you can.

Asia is practicing a blue’s scale.  Why does Asia have the blues?

  1. Scraped-up on arms and knees from wiping out on her bike.  She recently became a cyclist after her dad declared, “Our Vermont vacation will be all jacked up if Asia can’t ride a bike.”
  2. Sales are flat at Asia’s “Ooo La La Dress Shop”.  Note the mannequin sporting an “in progress” Asia Neill original.
  3. Asia’s soccer season is over, thus cutting off a fat revenue stream.  Mom gave her $1 for every goal she scored.  After her team won the championship, Mom and Asia celebrated by “going out for tea”.

I should bake a cake.

Asia says the house is cold.  Whatever.  She also puts ketchup and mayo on her hot dog, so it’s not like she knows ANYTHING.

Last week I built a wall of cabinets and installed them, along with our new (double!) oven.  Yay!  Almost in time for Thanksgiving.  Ovenless for the holidays, we ate turkey at a chain-ish restaurant surrounded by fat lazy white people.  Ah, nostalgia for an age yet to come.