Redressing
Years of toiling in Pittsburgh have retarded my sartorial sensibilities. This is ill-timed in light of my “move” to Paris. I don’t want to look like a bumbling American, ya know. Not to worry. Bored with learning French, I’ve redirected my energy toward absorbing Parisian fashion. It has come to my attention that Parisian men dress real gay. This is problematic. Not only am I not gay, gaydars tend to clock me in the hopeless/clueless range. So…what to do, what to do. Here’s what: Last week I saw the gayest looking sneakers I’d ever seen. So I bought them! Paris here I come! And yesterday I went to the mall! The mall! I haven’t shopped at a mall in 20 years. I bought Lucky and BKE (Buckle) jeans. Weeeeeee! I mean Ouiiiiiiiiiiii!
In other “news”, I’m not sure what to do about my afro. I know we don’t talk much anymore, but just so you know, I’m three months into a year-long haircut strike. Unfortunately, follicle results appear to be sabotaging my anti-bumbling scheme. So there’s that.
Nothing a little Murray's Pomade can't fix!
you are so cracking me up.
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I’ve missed this blog.
I think the hair and glasses earn you a place here. http://menwholooklikeoldlesbians.blogspot.com/
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well I think that if you pick up a horrible smoking habit( like one every five… no three minutes) and curse after every verb and predicate then you will fit right in over there. as far as the gaydar is concerned when you are walking down the streets of france if you just arbitrarily grab random women and kiss them(don’t worry about the misses it’s france it’s allowed). then you will have no worries.
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I know an excellent way to look gay in Paris, but it might scar your children for life and earn you a big nasty divorce where you can’t stake a claim in half. I guess you’ll have to be the straight, three dimensional food lovin’, all-American Math teacher/Dad from Chicago who has perma-residence in Pittsburgh who lives in Paris for a summer.
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Paris…a perfect example of demographic inversion. Is it anything like Montreal where spotting a straight man is as likely as spotting Sasquatch riding a unicorn?
You HAVE to post a pic of you wearing those shoes.
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OMN – Where have you been? Besides the mall, I mean. I think there’s a cable show starting soon – Queer Eye for Midwestern Men Heading to Europe. I think you should try to get in touch. And you can just go metrosexual, not all the way to gay, and fit in just fine. I hope you don’t mind if I suggest a trip to salon coiffure hommes. I thought that was Einstein for a minute
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ahh you finally posted. you look like wayne coyne.
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It’s not just men in Paris, it’s Europe in general. I would giggle at the boys wearing what I considered women’s Keds with their very skinny jeans. You may be relieved to know that as an “Old Man” you will be able to wear whatever you like. No one will care. That’s another awesome thing about Europe. It’s all in style.
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