From a Facebook bio: “I grew up without a TV, so don’t assume we share any childhood memories.”  Oh man, that’s just the tip of the iceberg.  I hear ya girl.  After all, we grew up in the same fringe religious group.

On February 11, 1990 I found myself at a 1.5 star hotel in Toledo, OH attending a religious conference.  That night I watched Buster Douglas defeat Mike Tyson.  The next morning Chris Schneider made an important announcement.

While never explicitly stated, we were expected to marry within the group.  A closed system.  Conferences were an opportune time to examine “possibilities”.  On the morning after the Tyson/Douglas hoopla, Chris stood up and carefully scanned the horizon.  Unimpressed with the selection, he slumped back down in his chair and announced, “SLIIIIIIIIIM PICKINS!”.  Perhaps Chris opted out at that very moment, because that was the last time I ever saw him.

Five years ago I lost my taste for Kool-Aid.  I’ve kept just one souvenir from those wacky days…I remain happily married to a girl Chris overlooked in that conference room.