The “Most Interesting Shopper” contest…
Today I shopped at the ugly people grocery store. Hoping to lighten the drudgery, I imagined myself as head judge of the “Most Interesting Shopper” contest. There were no shortage of qualified contestants. The winner sported a camouflage cowboy hat. Mumbling curses at no one, his head shook angrily while struggling to open an airplane/travel sized bottle of vodka. I was careful not to bump his cart.
Thank you for not bumping me. I was having a bitch of a time with that little bitty lid on the Smirnoff.
thank you for writing this because 1. it totally made me laugh and 2. this town has some special grocery stores that deserve some recognition for their unique shoppers. maybe we should organize a bus tour of Pittsburgh grocery stores.
I think you are onto something here, OMN. I am going to try this next time I shop. I have been mentally composing, but not writing, a blog post I have named, “I Shop With the Poor.” You get interesting shoppers in inner-city grocery stores (I once saw a drug addict returning half a two pack of ring dings for a refund) and pawing the goods at the bullet-hole-and-tire-track thrift stores I love. (That’s a reference to the distinguishing characteristics of the clothing to be found in these places BTW). You are an inspiration.
You are the master of goofy games.
Personally the little attention I pay to other grocery shoppers is in judgment of their glut. I’m really too busy scoffing at the six packs of soda they drape over the edge of the carts to notice anything they’re wearing.
I do enjoy my awkward and contentious relationships with clerks and baggers respectively.
What a great blog, I’ve had a good laugh reading some of your posts, I like the one of you riding around the driveway best!
Thanks for visiting, how did you find my blog? just curious!
John, don’t you think the winner needs some sort of recognition? Maybe a gold sticker that designates him as “The Most Interesting Shopper.”
I think it would brighten their day and add a little bit of flair to any wardrobe.
bet this guy is related to Uncle Nutzy, as we dubbed him, a wacky guy that we regularly saw in an Ann Arbor Kroger near Eastern Michigan’s campus in Ypsilanti. talking to himself, even arguing with cans of soup. and he was definitely one ugly cuss.
Dood, this is starting to sound like a good event for the Cacophony Society.
I’ve got to do this sometime. There are some scary people in the boondocks of Western Pennsylvania!