Today I shopped at the ugly people grocery store. Hoping to lighten the drudgery, I imagined myself as head judge of the “Most Interesting Shopper” contest. There were no shortage of qualified contestants. The winner sported a camouflage cowboy hat. Mumbling curses at no one, his head shook angrily while struggling to open an airplane/travel sized bottle of vodka. I was careful not to bump his cart.