Well what have we here?

It looks like an oddly proportioned old man wearing ill fitting clothes.  Nice shorts!  But wait…there are other issues.  What is the old man doing?  Let us take a closer look.

Oh my.  That is some white trash action.  A gas grill running on charcoal, being lit by a propane torch.

I can explain.

First of all, I left the charcoal out in the rain.  No amount of lighter fluid or gasoline would dry out those briquettes.  The propane torch let the charcoal know I was no longer playin’.  Within minutes, I was back in the grilling business.

Why the charcoal?  Isn’t that a gas grill?

Well it was.  Until the ONE TIME I let my wife use the grill, and she somehow melted the hoses and whatnot.  How she didn’t get blown to bits is one of life’s mysteries.

So why not buy a new grill?

When I buy something, there’s a number in my head.  For a crap grill like Char-Broil™, the number is four.  A Char-Broil™ should last four years, after which I will buy a bigger, manlier grill.  I can’t help it if my wife melted the grill after year two.  Right now I’m on year three.  Just one summer left…