There are two grocery stores near my house.  The first store is frequented primarily by ugly people.  The customer base at the second store, however, tends to range from average to good looking.  I theorize that uglies feel most comfortable around other uglies.  Where do I shop?  Either, depending on my self esteem.

My town reminds me of a Where’s Waldo book.  There are perhaps 30-40 “characters” around town.  Look closely while at a restaurant or grocery store, and you will spot at least one of these individuals.  My favorites are Marge Simpson’s twin sisters.  They must live somewhere in the North Hills of Pittsburgh, because I see them constantly.  For real, Patty and Selma in the flesh.  Another favorite is a guy who sounds exactly like Wallace Shawn, the evil genius from The Princess Bride. I’m always waiting for the dude to blurt out “inconceivable”.