I almost saw the basement floor
While Mrs. was in Texas (2 weeks), I almost got to the bottom of the laundry pile. Let me backtrack. As a swingin single, I used to love doing laundry. Laundromaters are generally a bored lot and are willing to talk. Every Chinese guy would claim he was at Tiananmen Square when it all went down. Uh-huh. Anarchists would explain exactly what was wrong with America. Sure dude. Hot babes would seek advice on random topics. Helloooooo nurse. And at the end of an hour, we were old friends…never to meet again.
After marriage, laundry became a drag, a blemish on otherwise idyllic Chicago weekends. Mrs. especially hated the laundromat. When we bought our first house, Mrs. was so enthralled by the idea of having OUR OWN washer and dryer, that she joyfully did the laundry. Nice! She seemed so happy, that I felt it would be for the best if I let her continue doing all the laundry. Why mess with a good thing, right? Well…Mrs. doesn’t believe in doing all of the laundry. Once she gets 2/3 of the way down the pile, she turns her attention to more pressing matters. At the bottom of the laundry pile are clothes that have missed several seasons worth of daylight.
So…every time Mrs. goes out of town, I make it my mission to get to the bottom of the pile. This time around, running 4-5 loads a day, I noticed that 90% of the wash was children’s clothing. All at once I figured out what was going on: My kids are always putting on “performances”. The shows feature outrageous costumes. Sometimes there are 3-4 performances a day, spawning 3-4 outfit changes. It’s not something I can get upset about. What am I gonna say? “HEY KIDS, STOP BEING CREATIVE. GO WATCH TV OR SOMETHING”. In today’s show, Asia said to Zach, “Pretend you’re God, and you’re waiting in line at the store.”
Recent costumes:
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Gotta watch what I wear this week…could be months before it comes back clean.
How are you able to talk to strangers? I wish I could. I feel like people have interesting things to say that are waiting to be pried out by someone in casual conversation. And yet. I always fail miserably at conversations with people I don’t know… It is a curse.
And. Your kids are adorable. The God comment is hilarious. I hope someday…
It is nice to read your blog. I find myself laughing at the things you write. Thank you for finding me and sharing. It is much appreciated.
OMG I have to come up with captions? Don’t put me on the spot like that, man. Cute though… and let’s hope they don’t stop being so creative as they get older. Something tells me Asia, especially, will make it to Burning Man before you do.
I just want to start by saying your page is like 29382 times better then mine you’ll have to teach me soon. two thanks for the comment i didn’t think any one really looked at my blog and i was really venting to myself just to read about it later. and Lastly your children are beautiful. and funny i wanna hear more about this god in the store business.
i don’t know what happened, i thought i’d commented…maybe i’m delusional.
anywho. it had something about wondering where the pic was of old man neill in a skinny tie, hammer pants and gold lame’
umm.. I do the laundry that needs to be done.. and the other waits til someday when I have a BIGGER washer machine and NICER laundry machine.
That’s how it seems now, sure. But when you finally get those beautiful machines, you’ll decide that they’re just too pretty, and you won’t want to ruin them with such a filthy pile of stench. It’s like all those people who buy Hummers but are afraid to take them off the pavement at the risk of getting a scratch on the bumper.