Last night Mrs. performed with the Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra! And what a performance it was.  The concert has me rethinking my stance on classical music.  Even my six-year-old boy loved the show.  Why?  Because it was only an hour long – not the usual two hours.  With those two hour shows, the first 45 minutes are cool, but by halftime I’m bored. Around the 120 minute mark, I’m daydreaming, and thinking bad thoughts about the old cracker sitting next to me.

Assuming the PSO wants chumps like me going to their shows, I offer the following advice:

  1. Have a weekly “late show” starting at 10:00 pm.
  2. Show ends at 11:00 pm.
  3. Good beer – Micro brews and imports for $2.50.  And I don’t mean that nasty Heineken.
  4. No dress code.
  5. Discourage polite clapping.  I want hootin’ and hollerin’ after every movement.
  6. Since the show is only an hour, charge half price.

Make these changes, and I’ll be at Heinz Hall every week.