I rarely talk about my aches and pains, because I’m incapable of generating sympathy. Too lazy to put on work gloves, I often get serious splinters. I’m not talking about the cute, tiny splinters that kids get. So…I was explaining to some blue-collar dude how much my latest splinter hurt. He said nothing, but shot me a look that said, “you sad, pathetic sissy”.
But I’ve got bigger problems. My wife is smarter than me. Thus I’ve begun to wonder just how low my IQ is, since today I heard her say: “I’m so itchy. Maybe the water here is more dry.”