Where has Fat Max gone?  I'm going crazy without my "Fat Max" measuring tape.  Since Max is missing, I had to use Piece-O-Shit measuring tape.  Old Piece-O-Shit tape screwed me over twice, slowing me down to a crawl.  At some point I had enough and smashed old Piece-O-Shit into several smaller pieces of shit.  Rage?  No.  It was a calculated decision.  But I gotta say it felt good.  I gave up losing my temper 16 years ago.  Here's why:

I was leaned over, working on a car.  Standing up, I smashed my head on Mom's low hanging bird house.  Instantly thrown into a rage, I punched the birdhouse, full force.  (That'll show it!)  I went back to sanding the door panel.  And then I noticed it:  Blood was everywhere.  My body must have been in shock - I felt nothing.  Holy crap, you could see the bone in my knuckle.  Upon closer inspection of the smashed birdhouse, it turned out to have been made of cement!  (Who does that?)  Dirt poor and having no insurance, I taped up my hand and went back to work.  (With my left hand)

My pinky doesn't close right, and arthritis in that knuckle is gonna to make me crazy when I get old(er).  But it's my daily a reminder to slow down, and THINK before doing anything stupid. 

Smashing that Piece-O-Shit measuring tape wasn't stupid.  It was the best decision I made today.