I wrote a facebook note to a few of my ex-students.  It went like this:

All you crazy nerds keep reminding me of the stupid shit I used to pull at Whitney Young. Maybe I'm getting senile, but I honestly don't remember most of these stories. So...I'd like you to write an account of a saga or event from my class that was either bizarre, inappropriate, stupid, random, hilarious, or just plain ridiculous. When I've got a good collection, I'll post them on my blog. Try to write your story in a way that would make sense to someone who wasn't there. Ok kids, go buck wild...

They didn't follow directions, but I don't have the patience to explain each context...it's too much like work.  As long as I don't get bored of this blog, all the comments should eventually make sense. 

Here's what they wrote:

	Taylor Mason X (Chicago, IL) wrote at 2:29pm on November 14th, 2006 I will never forget the day that I had a big cranberry juice bottle filled with water. I came in to class drinking it, and you asked why I had it. I told you, along with the rest of the class that I was fasting. You asked if I was fasting for Ramadaam, and then Mykel raises his hand and asks, "Taylor, your jewish?"
	Ginger Scott (Missouri) wrote at 2:34pm on November 14th, 2006 I thought it was rather bizarre when you told our class that you would no longer answer to Mr. Neill and that we had to address you as Mr. Dubilina, Mr. Bob Dubilina. And then when we would call you Mr. Dubilina, you would say "That's Mr. Dubilina, Mr. BOB Dubilina." OK I got another one. So me and Alex clearly hated each other and one day you told us to get it over with...........and ARM WRESTLE. And I ended up winning,
	Erika Zaragoza (UIllinois) wrote at 2:41pm on November 14th, 2006 I would just liek to remind you how inapproprite it was for you to 1. call me EZ 2. call me a stoner 3. goin through my purse because u though it was my phone that rang, and guess what it wasn't. I felt violated but you did compliment my well put together outfits....
	Jamilah (Washington, DC) wrote at 2:45pm on November 14th, 2006 LMAO!!!! You made a class call you Mistadobalina???? I wish you'd did that with us, I totally would have got it. Let's see. One of my classmates was pregnant and you called her "mom". I think your wife had just given birth to Zach....or maybe he was a few months old. Anyway, the when the girl had finally her baby, you kept trying to get her to let her baby wrestle Zach and place bets on the fight.
	Lauren J. Daggett (Clark Atlanta) wrote at 3:22pm on November 14th, 2006 Well lets see since there are like A MILLION! The most memorable story must be the one day that the stress of being a student had weighed on me heavily and I decided to take a nap in Mr. Neill's class. I had gotten away with it for most of the period but realizing how quiet class was that day and knowing that I was in fact present, Old Man Neill figured that something was wrong and caught me sleeping. INstead of telling a neighbor to nudge me or something, Mr. Neill decides to throw a ball at me which proceeds to land on my head, waking me up from my glorious slumber! All of a sudden Mr. Neill remembers those little rules about how teachers aren't supposed to hit students and rushes over to my desk, gets down on his knees, and begs me not to tell the principal. He offers to give me whatever I want and while a more coherent student may have asked for an A, my weariness only allowed for me to ask to go back to sleep and of course, in fear of losing his job, Mr. Neill willingly obliged.
	Bill Mayeroff (Knox) wrote at 3:31pm on November 14th, 2006 Oh man, all the hacky sack with chalk. There was a girl in class you called Mama because she had a kid. What else? Oh yeah, one of my personal highlights was when you brought your acoustic guitar and played "My Neighborhood." You definitely wanted a fight between her kid and Zach so you could make some money. Didn't you once sell a pencil with an Enron logo on Ebay for a few bucks?
	Christa (SIU Carbondale) wrote at 3:34pm on November 14th, 2006 LOL, this thing's really funny, ummm...telling us about how your relative "makes" money... ... and that you shaved your head the first year I had you for math and you said it was so that your hair could grow with your students, cute...oh the good ol days...well not the whole days, just the 50minutes in your class.
	Rebecca Penzick (Ill. Chicago) wrote at 4:07pm on November 14th, 2006 In high school I was going through a rough patch in my life (especially sophomore year when I had you for Geometry), and I used to doodle lyrics next to my work in my notebook during class. These were not uplifting lyrics, mind you (example: Offspring lyric "Hey man you know I'm really okay....The gun in my hand will tell you the same...") Needless to say, you saw stated lyrics and you told me that high school is going to go by fast and that life will be fine in the end (or something along those lines). And you know what, life did turn out pretty good for me after all (so far). I guess it was nice to hear you tell me that at the time, and I think about it if I happen to delve into the past every so often.
	Anjali Bahl (Loyola Chicago) wrote at 4:08pm on November 14th, 2006 I liked when you called Christophe Horton "Pissed-Offy" instead of "Christ-offy". I don't know if it was you or that weasley kid (Bryan or Ryan Maniaci) who called him that. I liked when Cipriano would say "FUCK" audibly during a test, and you'd be like "Try not to use the F word, kids." Who remembers The Violent Game™? And The Homicide Compasses™? And the Hello Doggy™ pencil sharpener. WAIT I just remembered my favorite memory, for real. One day, Vassil Vardjiev wore this outfit. It was obviously expensive, but it was the single ugliest thing ever. It was like, dark blue denim with these random bright ass orange bleach spots ALL OVER IT, and the top matched the pants. You were talking about math, and you said "This equation is spotted...like Vassil's outfit." It made no sense but you just wanted an opportunity to take a stab at his outfit, and then he never wore it again. Then this other kid called the hypotenuse a "hypotense" and we called it that for the rest of the year.
	Kidist 'Keaton' Allen-Gessesse (Michigan) wrote at 4:31pm on November 14th, 2006 the most memorable time in your class was when I left to use the bathroom but I didnt feel like carrying around that stupid plunger, so I left it outside of the door. but somone in the class saw me do and told you that I didnt take it with me. when I returned to class I saw that the plunger wasnt by the door anymore and thought someone brought it in the class until you were asked, "wheres my plunger at??" I was like, "Um, i must have left in the bathroom" so you made me go back to find it and when I came back empty handed you got really angry, stopped class, and told me that had to but you a new plunger by the next day and only a speific one that you like at Home Depot. I refused to buy a new plunger, but then Istarted to feel bad for losing the plunger and finally agreed to buy a new one. but as the bell rang, you pulled the plunger out of your desk and said "nevermid....I found it" -constantly calling me eritrean because you knew i was ethiopian -you use to always make fun of me for reading so much in your class. then you noticed i was reading some books by Zane that were pretty sexually explicit, so you use to tell the whole class how i was reading and looking at porn all day. so one day you picked up one of my books and began reading to the class a random page which happened to be another sex scene. then you abruptly stopped when it became a little too inappropiate.
	David McKinney (Benedictine IL) wrote at 6:33pm on November 14th, 2006 you told me too fuck off on the first day of school
	Nydia Santana (UIllinois) wrote at 7:05pm on November 14th, 2006 The best story you ever told: A woman named Linda who lived next door to you and every day at the same time would beat her kids. In order to drown out the sound of her kids crying, you and your band turned up your amps and then you YELLED into the mic, so that everyone on the block could hear: "Hey Linda (Linda, Linda)..quit beating your kids!! (kids kids)"...I got extra credit on your final my Freshman year for remembering that story. It was amazing... Inappropriate: You said some pretty racist things in class. Like tellin Janice that since she wanted to be an news anchor woman that she'd work for Telemundo, then proceeded to call her Telemundo for a year.
	Jamilah (Washington, DC) wrote at 7:16pm on November 14th, 2006 She forgot to mention that Linda/Susan was white and had 3 kids: one was white, one was half-mexican and the other was black and white. And that after you did it, the family got silent and one of the kids finally said "Mommy, was that God?"
	Janel Bailey (Ill. Chicago) wrote at 8:47pm on November 14th, 2006 Man I remember all those names u gave us, I think pretty much everybody still remembers their name. Lauren was late girl, cuz of course, she was late everyday. I was Jabba, cuz u looked up one day and realized I didn't have a name, so u just took the first couple letters of each name. Tony, the kid who came in Freshman year w/a full moustache was Senor Delgado w/the appropriate accent. I decided we'd call David "Skippy", and you said, "Oh that's not gunna stick". To this day, people don't know who "David" is, some only know "Skippy" or "Sandy's boyfriend"! Then there was this one really long, drawn out story you'd tell about this old woman who chased you through a grocery store, (or did u chase her?) but it ended up with one of you trying to get back to the car, and the other one grabbing and pulling on their leg...just like u were pullin ours! But the thing I remember most is you throwin down the chalk and sighing, then going, "no learning today, kids!"
	Marissa V (Chicago, IL) wrote at 9:08pm on November 14th, 2006 oh god... i forgot the nickname you gave me but i think thats a good thing, i kno i used to write it on my tests sometimes. i remember when you asked mykel how high he was and you were like "so how high are we today, really high (moved hand upward), not so much (moved hand down) and mykel said "somewhere in the middle." And i remember when me and mica were talking about Yvette's car (a 1986 caprice classic w/ caddilac interior) and you were so excited that u wrote it down so u could make fun of her. Plus the countless Taylor incidents and lame jokes. I remember how Jay would come up with these outlandish comments that were completely irrelevant and awkward, and then we would just make a joke about his beastly hair. And then we named him whitney young since he looked like the statue... and since my last name is Veith, you said that i was marissa to the Vth power...
	Jennifer Lang (Whitney M. Young Magnet High School) wrote at 9:28pm on November 14th, 2006 After an entire year of calling me the dirty liberal of the class and harrassing me about recycling and the like, you and I had an intense discussion about a former drunk student who peed on your lawn. This definitely continued through the class the next day, though I can't recall what insightful remarks you made. It may have actually taken up most of the week.
	Angelle Tolson (Spelman) wrote at 10:14pm on November 14th, 2006 let's see....well i loved that the bathroom pass was a toilet plunger.....you used to always say "jesus save us" when jesus perez would try to answer a question....you used to always make fun of erika....also you always told us a great random story.....my favorite day was when we played that math game we used to play before tests and i GOT TACKLED by that guy in our class....hmmm don't remember his name tho...lol
	Natalie Mbogo (Whitney M. Young Magnet High School) wrote at 10:22pm on November 14th, 2006 my nickname was bogus..because of my last name. you had fun with that..and still do. i remember: -one time when kristy was walking back to her desk and u hadn't put duct tape on the edges of your desk like most of the teachers with the metal sharp pointed edge file cabinets and when she tried to squeeze past to her desk..her pants ripped completely down the thigh..i mean a huge rip...and u just started laughing and making jokes. -when some kid bought you shoe polish for your old worn out shoes and you used it in class and were like.."wow...that really does work..they look brand new.." and beamed with the wonderment of a 5 yr old. ahahaha - and when you told me you thought i had a bluecollar/urban/chicagoanaccent,and when i denied it,you preceded to ask the entire class until thay all agreed i had an accent innappropriate: lol. u said about my father being from africa and clicked and someone told u my father was a cheif in kenya and u were like..princess mmmmmmmbogafubogus
	Joyce Elam (UIllinois) wrote at 11:16pm on November 14th, 2006 The main thing I remember about you, is you giving me a name. I don't even think you knew my real name. At first i wore a shirt that said "ghetto girl" and you started calling me that. Then the next year i wore a shirt that said "mamacita" and then you came up with the BRIGHT idea to call me ghettomamacita, and you even nicknamed me GM....Only you would do that!
	Peter Peter (Whitney M. Young Magnet High School) wrote at 11:24pm on November 14th, 2006 1.) When me and Bobby O had a belching cotnest, you told me "peter in America we dont do that" 2.) Bobby picked me by my legs and spun me around like a helicopter even after you came in the room 3.) You called that girl in the front France and she clearly hated you 4.) Hackeysackin with the chalk and then you showed us your license 5.) You asked what tribe I came from even after I told yo I came from indiea 6.) You revealed to us that you wre religious! 7.) You told the other classes about me and bobby and i think you talked crap about me to the other classes 8.) The first day of school u demonstrated what you would do wen u caught us eating and u took sherrie wu's cheetos and gaarrredd 9.) You talked about Lance's Baptist church all the time and called him lancypants 10.) You wre very offensive but the funniest teacher I ever had mann mr. neil wen u said u wre leavin i was very sad
	Michelle Zetek (Ill. Chicago) wrote at 2:21pm on November 15th, 2006 You called Amber Johnson, "Amber the color of beer." So bogus! I remember the year you said you wanted to grow a mullet. And you told us your wife thought you were crazy because of it.
	Venus Sharnell White (Florida A&M) wrote at 7:33pm on November 15th, 2006 i remember when u showed me the pics of your chickens in division! oh and when u pointed out to us that your son looked asian/ white depending on what side of his face u covered up!
	Myia Morganparksgrandma Thompson (Whitney M. Young Magnet High School) wrote at 7:54pm on November 15th, 2006 hey mr. neill...i remember how you used to call me miguel because of the show you watched with your children on nickelodeon, "Maya & Miguel" also I remeber the hilarious stories that you would tell about your life
	Eddie Speck (Chicago City Colleges) wrote at 2:45pm on November 16th, 2006 Oh man, there are far too many memories to remember..... it starts off with that ridiculously great algebra class freshman year... towards the end of the year we all ended up migrating to our own seats, which ended up causing us to segregate the entire room, it was a crazy coincidence, but we still ended up being segregated lol... I just now remembered Eboni, she never seemed as though she understood what was going on and asked a ton of questions, but geez when it came to the tests she'd ALWAYS ace them, it was awesome... There was also this one time brian tasch sat behind me in class one year and mr. neill had skittles inside his desk... for some reason, and i don't know how it started but mr. neill decided he'd toss skittles from his desk into brian's mouth behind me, after a couple hits in the face brian caught one, but the next one that came wasn't all that tastey... one of those pieces of chalk mr. neill usually hacky sacked around got tossed into brians mouth and hilarity ensued... Let's also never forget how I single-handedly revolutionized the violent game. Not only did i show everybody how to be violent by running over lauren and putting the right answer... i owned her... then it was brandon parrots turn, i don't take prisoners, he flew across the room as i ran to the board to write down my answer... anything goes eh?? lol, sorry guys for making the violent game the not-so-violent game...
	Rachel Sissac (Southern Adventist) wrote at 4:06pm on November 16th, 2006 Wow. Mr. Neil. I cant help but talk about your "educational games" ie. "The Violent Game". We used to rush the board, taking out everything in the way to get the answer on the board. I dont even think there was a prize at the end. But my favorite time was when Me and Lauren Dagget were going for the board and in a rage trying to get ti the board before her, I threw her into the podium and broke it into pieces. LOL. thats was so hilarious!! I think we had to stop playing after that. Sorry guys it was fun while it lasted though. lol aahhh, good times.
	Aleena Agrawal (Whitney M. Young Magnet High School) wrote at 4:45pm on November 16th, 2006 Oh, Mr. Neill. Where do I start? Well..I don't think I remember too much, but I remember when you told us the story of when you were in college and you wanted your neighbors (who were having a party) to be quiet, so you sprayed a can of ether and held a lighter in front of it, and ended up burning a tree. And about the girl who peed on your front lawn out of anger. Aaaand.. the girl with the Gap sweater and the gap between her front teeth (though that was one of the meaner ones). And when you asked me what caste my family was.. Yup.
	Carl' Thatswhatyourgirlsaid 'Nicosia (Wilberforce) wrote at 12:41pm on November 16th, 2006 For one, I sat in the front of the class, RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR DESK, and I was always quiet, for the most part, and you would bother everyone else in the class except for me so you began to call me "Overlook." The second thing I remember is when you would ask the class the answer to a problem, and after no attempts by the class, and while walking between the desks, you'd quietly and calmly make your way to the back of the class and then just hurl the chalk at the chalkboard in this awkward "Only Mr. Neil" fashion, and startle everyone. One more thing that made me realize you were a truly unique individual was this big green wool sweater that you bought off EBay. It looked like something that the avergae person would be allergic too, but we all know you weren't the average guy.
	Peter Raleigh (DePaul) wrote at 6:19pm on December 2nd, 2006 Probably my favorite moment in that class was when someone was asking you how long it would take to have our last test graded. You looked around and were like, "Has anyone ever seen me leave this building?" Someone, I think Jerry, said yes. You asked, "What was I carrying?" Jerry thought for a moment, and finally said "Nothing." And you grinned really proudly and said "Exactly." I think we got those tests back in like three or four weeks.
	Brittany Rapier (Chicago State) wrote at 1:48am Mr. Neill remember when your daughter was born and you told the class her name and u were like that she would always getten mistaken for a black kid!!! Remember that day in math class when you left that dead mouse on the floor and eventually put it in a pepsi bottle for later uses and that later use was to put the bottle on i believe Ryan Dunnigan's desk?
	Nicole Jeffries (Purdue) wrote at 1:25pm lol I remember you calling Erika Zaragoza ez (easy), and one day on 420 I walked into your room when I was in US History getting a snack and you told your honors class I was your sister. Then I asked you if you wanted some of my rice krispy treat and you told the class to live a little...haha and I remember there was a seeing eye dog walking around the biulding and whenever I saw it outside the room I would giggle and you'd look at it would be gone so you thought I was making the whole thing up. OH! and the story about your job and how you had to watch a building so no one would tag it and on the last day you fell asleep and the whole building was tagged up, so uic put bushes up. OMG BOB AVALLINI, MR BOB AVALLINI...he came to career day and started rambling on about why not to hire union workers and did some math on the board clearly having no idea what he was doing...
	Janel Bailey (Ill. Chicago) wrote at 5:13pm Bob Avallini!? what about Mr Bob Dobalina!?