During college I worked for the campus police.  In the summer I worked the overnight shift.  At night there were only two jobs, a sitter and a walker.  The walker was armed with a walkie-talkie.  His job was to stalk the west side of campus looking for God-knows-what.  The sitter sat in a creepy, dungeon-like room on the west side of campus.  His job was to check the IDs of the two people who entered the building, and then press a button to admit them.  Realizing the foolishness of walking alone at night in a high crime area, the walker would inevitably join the sitter in the dungeon.  There they would either bullshit the night away, or take turns sleeping. 

One night I was the walker.  I joined Derrick in the dungeon.  We put our feet up on the desk, leaned back, and talked about music.  Engrossed in conversation, we failed to notice a woman tapping on the glass, waving her ID.  She looked impatient.  She probably had been tapping for awhile.  Derrick didn't appreciate the interruption.  He swung his feet off the desk and slammed them to the floor.  Glaring at her with rage, he smashed the buzzer with his fist.  "DAMMIT!", he screamed, "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS PLACE?  HOW FUCKIN' HARD IS IT TO INSTALL A CARD READER SO THESE PEOPLE (all two of them during an 8 hour shift) CAN LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE."  Afterwards, we sat in silence, realizing the full depravity of our souls.  That job did irreparable damage to my work ethic.

Ike Reilly Assassination - I don't want what you got (goin' on).mp3