My niece works at a barber shop.  She sells expensive lotions, shampoos, shaving gear, etc.  The shop cuts the hair of Chicago’s movers and shakers.  It’s run by my ex-guitarist.  I used to get my hair cut there, but geez, I’m not made of money.  I’m also neither a mover nor a shaker.  Last time I got my hair cut there was because my wife had bought me a birthday “package”.  For $100 I got a shave, some sort of rub down, and a haircut.  For my haircut, I demanded a mullet.  The barber looked visibly shaken.  He wasn’t the only one traumatized.  My wife got real pissed when I came home with my new doo.

When I was in Chicago last week, I ran into the ex-guitarist in front of his shop.  I shook his hand.  Whoa.  His hand was the softest, silkiest, butteriest hand I’ve ever shaken.  He sure ain’t playing much guitar with those doughboy hands.  I gotta find out the name of his lotion.  I’m saving up to buy a bottle.

Here are two of his songs.  I recorded them when he was 18.

Kirk Merchant – Leave me alone for awhile.mp3
Kirk Merchant – Denial.mp3